THE WRONG ROLE MODEL

Terror was the only hero I knew 
He was very muscular and fearful looking 
He had a lot of men behind him 
He was their master 
His words were law 
He intimidated people 
I could not imagine anyone stronger than him 
He rode in the best of cars 
He only had to ask and he would be given 
It was wonderful knowing him 
He had so much power 
It was a privilege to see him 
I admired him beyond reason 
I never saw him smile 
Children loved him 
He never harmed us 
I wanted to become like Terror 
I wanted people to fear me 
I wanted my words to be law 
I refused to go to school 
Terror did not go to school 
But he had so much power 

I named myself Junior Terror 
We smoked and drank alcohol 
That was what Terror did 
I lifted heavy metals 
I became very muscular 
I looked double my age 
I trained to become the strongest person in my group 
We defeated other groups 
We had to kill and steal to become rich 
In a few years 
I became the real Terror 
Even Terror, 
My role model 
Was accountable to me 
People ran when they heard my name 
I was the lord of my community 
Nobody dared disobeyed me 
I had finally achieved my dream 
One day, 
I sat in my house smoking 
I had guards all around the house 
I had all kinds of spiritual powers 
I gave a loud laugh at my success 
I put my cigarette on the table and slept 
I had a terrible dream 
I was burning in hell 
It felt so real 
I could feel my flesh burning 
Suddenly, everything went blank 
I woke up on a hospital bed 
I had been there for two years 
I was flabbergasted 
I was given the bad news 
The fire had left me crippled for life 
My skin was a mess 
Where were my body guards? 
Where were all my powers? 
What a wasteful life I have lived 
I looked like a monster 
I looked three times older than my age 
I had no wife 
I had no children 
Life was not all luxury after all 
I took a wrong role model 
Regret, remorse 
That is what I feel 
Had I known…? 

Rubaba Mmahajia Rahma Sabtiu