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Thursday 22 May 2014

GAARA HAKA



Bismil Laahir Rahmaanir Raheem

Assalaamu alaykum wa arahmatul Laahi wa barkaatuh brothers and sisters in Islam. May Allah, Al-Wahhab, favour us with the ability to fulfill the purpose of life before we ever exit this Dunya. Aameen.

Today, my title is in Hausa; ‘Gaara Haka,’ and I pray that this article will be beneficial to all of us. The problem however is; I am finding some little trouble trying to translate the Hausa phrase ‘Gaara Haka’ to English. Interesting huh! But of course! I’ll try just for you.

A friend tells me a funny story

There was a great scholar who was popularly known for a phrase he liked to say very often; ‘gaara haka.’ The closest meaning being; ‘It is better that it is so.’ Whenever anything happens, bad or good, this Sheikh in expressing his joy or sorrow will say; ‘gaara haka,’ ‘It is better that it is so.’ One day, the chief of the town lost his only son. It was such a blow to him and he felt so much sorrow at his loss. As always, the sheikh went to the chief’s palace to express his condolence. Knowing what the sheikh was definitely going to say and being annoyed at the thought of hearing that phrase from him in such trying times in his life, he sharpened a knife and kept it in his smock with the intention of stabbing the sheikh in case he told him that nonsense.

Soon the sheikh came to the palace and headed towards the seat of the chief. He had to climb a number of stairs before he could get to him. The chief stared at him as he came in readiness to strike him if he dared said what everyone expected that he would say. Suddenly, the sheikh tripped and fell over. Then the people gathered around him trying to see whether he was ok. He told them that; ‘Gaara haka.’ For him it was better that he fell. Then the chief stood up angrily and said;

‘Wallaahi (By Allah)! Gaara haka. Because if you had gotten to me and told me that nonsense, I would have sent you to your grave.’

This story sounded funny yet it is full of lessons worth pondering upon. Hassan al-Basri said;

‘'Do not resent the calamities that come and the disasters that occur, for perhaps in something that you dislike will be your salvation, and perhaps in something that you prefer will be your doom.'

That sounds like the ayah of the Qur’an that says;

‘'...and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.'

Surah Al-Baqarah, the Cow, Chapter 2 ayah 216

A key lesson in the story

The sheikh believed that with everything that happens, it is better that it is so because worse things could have happened. That was proven when he fell over the stairs because definitely, that was better than the sharpened knife that was awaiting him. You could derive more lessons. Let me tell you another popular story that brings out this same lesson.

The king and his Personal Assistant

This king liked one particular person a lot so much that he would want him around him all the time. This man who was like the king’s PA had a popular phrase just like the sheikh above. His saying was; ‘Whatever Allah does is perfect’ and the king loved him for that until one unfortunate day when the king hated him for that same saying. Could you believe? One day, the king who loved to hunt had gone out into the forest with his PA and an animal had bit off a part of the his finger. The king screamed in pain and annoyance and all that his PA could say as he helped dress his wound was; 

‘Whatever Allah does is perfect.’

If you were the king, what would you do? Well this king could not believe that someone he loved so much considered his misfortune as something ‘perfect.’ He got so annoyed that he made them lock his PA up in a dungeon to suffer for the rest of his life. Was that wicked? Interesting enough, when the king had pronounced that judgment, the PA had said calmly;

‘Whatever Allah does is perfect.’

To the king, that was incredible and vexing. Since he had no PA now and he didn’t want anyone else, he started going to hunt alone. One day, as he was hunting, some wild people caught him and sent him to their dwellings. They needed to sacrifice a human being for one of their festivals. Unfortunately, they could not use him because he had a part of his finger missing and that was an omen to them. They set him free.

After going through such a tumultuous time in his life of almost being at the edge of being a sacrificial lamb to some bunch of people from the wild, he thought deeply. He imagined what it would have been like if he had not lost a part of his finger on that unfortunate day. Then he remembered his PA who had been locked up for a long time. He brought him out to apologise. After explaining to the PA all that happened and the fact that he had now understood what he meant by; ‘whatever Allah does is perfect,’ he began to apologise to him about how short-sighted he had been to put him away. Then the PA said;

‘Whatever Allah does is perfect.’

Now, that was the peak of it. The king could not believe that his PA thought of his time in that nasty dungeon as perfect. The PA explained that if that had not happened and they had gone to the forest together, instead of the king, the people would have used him for the sacrifice because he was intact. Then the reality of that saying dawned on him.

A key lesson in the story

Just like in the first story, we see the saying of this PA proven in the fact that both the PA and the king got their life spared because the king did not qualify for the sacrifice and the PA was locked up in a dungeon. The Prophet Muhammad suallal Laahu alayhi wa sallam says something very beautiful and inspiring. He says;

‘How amazing is the affair of the believer. There is good for him in everything and that is for no one but the believer. If good times come his way, he expresses gratitude to Allah and that is good for him, and if hardship comes his way, he endures it patiently and that is better for him.’

Sahih Muslim

I believe that this is all that we need to know in order to enjoy our lives as it comes. It is however interesting that as humans as we are, when we are going through moments of trials, we forget the fact that it could be as the sheikh says; ‘Gaara haka’ and as the PA also says; ‘Whatever Allah does is perfect.’ It seems it is that very difficult to accept this.

Alhamdu lil Laah, I have come to trust a lot in these sayings due to some of the tests and trials that I have passed through. I learnt in all of that that indeed, it is true that Allah tests those who say they believe in Him. What I realized that these tests do if we took the attitude of the sheikh and the PA is that at the end of these tests (and if they don’t end at all), we are drawn closer to Allah, Al-Mujib. 

This happens when we recognize Allah, As-Samad, in the trials. If we made sure that we were not doing anything bad to warrant such a trial and then we believed that Allah, Al-Alim, knows best why He is putting us through those trials and then we call unto Him to aid us pass the trials, then we get closer to Him.

Tests and Trials

So, what I have learnt with time is that at any point in time, we are undergoing one test or the other that is whether something bad or good is happening to us. Sis. Yasmin Mogahed would say that the greatest test is actually when all is going well with us because the chances of one forgetting to acknowledge Allah, Al-Rahmaan, for the good that he or she is enjoying is very high but the one who is going through bad times finds it a lot easier to turn to Allah (that is if the person believes He is the only Helper). Think about it.

We see that a lot of people were put to the test by Allah, Ar-Raheem. Prophet Ayyub alayhis salaam being one of the key examples. He stood through this trial with patience and forbearance because He knew that Allah azza wa jal knew about him and that was sufficient to make him stand the test. The same was for Aasiyah alayhas salaam. She could stand all of her husband’s torture because she believed that Allah azza wa jal knew about her and she was content with that. The stories are uncountable. We also see the test of Fir’aun and how much he failed miserable in it. Allah gave him power and he failed to recognize that fact but rather he became rebellious and thought himself equal to Allah, Al-Waahid, Al-Ahad, subhaanahu wa ta’aalaa. 

I do not want to write about tests and trials much here because it is something that has to be dealt with in detail. What I want to achieve with this article is to make the brothers and sisters, who are in a particular situation that they think is not good enough which is due to no fault of theirs, understand that indeed ‘Gaara haka,’ and ‘Whatever Allah does is perfect.’

This understanding will help you to move on with strength, patience and firm trust that Allah is aware of your situation and will do for you that which is best. At the end of the day, all that matters is that you should not sway from His path. 

‘And (Allah) will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah - then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent.’

Surah At-Talaaq, the Divorce, Chapter 65 ayah 3

So, that says it all. It is my ardent prayer that Allah azza wa jal will favour us with the ability to understand that indeed every situation we find ourselves in are only because He willed it so. May Allah the Owner of guidance guide us unto His path till we exit this Dunya. Aameen. I love you fiisabi lil Laah and may Allah be a witness to this love. May He love us most. Aameen.

Jazaakumul Laahu khair always!
Trust in Allah forever in shaa Allah!
Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatul Laah!
Rubaba Mmahajia Rahma Sabtiu

Thursday 15 May 2014

HURT? LET GO!







Bismil Laahir Rahmaanir Raheem!

“Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.”

Sahih Bukhari

Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatul Laahi wa barkaatuh brothers and sisters in Islam. Alhamdu lil Laah always for the blessing of Islam. May Allah azza wa jal keep us on this path until our ends. Aameen.

Today, I’m trying to write an article that I am not sure how to begin and end. What I know however is that there is this little something that is nudging my fingers to be written; and of course, it is lying quietly in my heart.

Recent times

Quite recently, I have seen on too many occasions brothers and sisters having one issue or the other with each other or among one another. Then they let these petty disagreements or misunderstandings get at them to the extent that they go off the bar. I guess you know what I mean by that. Their level of hurt and anger get so serious that sometimes, the bad words just pop out of their writings like that. Funny enough, I have always seen that mostly, the issues are such that they could be easily swept into the gutter. Unfortunately however, brothers and sisters hold unto them.

It is indeed not out of place for us to get hurt because of the actions of others and to get angry at them; it is only natural with us as humans. We have hearts and Allah, Al-Khaaliq, made our hearts sensitive to the actions of others.

When I thought no one could really hurt me

Well, I used to live in the delusion that perhaps no one can really get me angry by hurting me. Don’t laugh; it was childishness. We are created so differently. Some of us have very bad temper, others are mild tempered and others are almost temperless. Don’t mind the words, ok. It helps me convey my message better. There are those people who will get angry at the least problem. It is almost a wonder to me sometimes. Even when you are trying to share some humour with that person, he or she suddenly takes it personal and goes off. It is really difficult dealing with such people for sure.

There are others who are just moderate. The things that are expected to get a person angry will make them angry and the things that are not expected to make a person angry will not make them angry. They are the middle line people. There are those others who are almost always never offended with just about anything. They will not get angry no matter how hard you even try to let them. Well, have you met anybody like that before?

In my teens, I thought I was almost getting to the third category. That is not to say that I never got angry but I didn’t see why I should get angry just like that. I remember that when I was in the Senior High School, some of my teachers will ask why I liked smiling and never frown…they wanted to know the secret! Interesting huh! And I didn’t even realize it. I guess I was simply accepting life as it comes.

Got hurt like never thought before

So, I’d keep talking about how much this person had hurt me by misunderstanding almost everything that I did. She always read meanings into almost everything I did whilst I was innocently simply being my natural self. But I had actually thought I had forgiven her. Yet I kept talking about it thinking that I was probably just telling the story. One day, a friend of mine made a comment saying;

‘I can just tell that she really hurt you with the way she behaved towards you because of the way you talk about this.’

And she told the truth. She knew that I will naturally not be bothered much by something like that so she could tell the level of hurt in me. Then I realized that perhaps I had not really forgiven this lady so I decided to do so. Alhamdu lil Laah, that decision to truly forgive was to my own advantage because it gave me such peace of mind and heart. Alhamdu lil Laah. Allah, Al-Gafuur, tells us about the better and lasting enjoyment of the Hereafter of some categories of people in Surah Ash-Shura, the Consultation, Chapter 42  and in ayah 37, He says;

‘And those who avoid the greater sins, and illegal sexual intercourse, and WHEN THEY ARE ANGRY, THEY FORGIVE.’

Subhaanal Laah! This is enough to let every Muslim simply and immediately forgive any wrong done him or her. But it is not that easy and Allah, Ar-Rahmaan, Al-Adl, the Merciful and the Just as He is does not hold us against our desire to revenge the evil done us as He says in the same Surah ayah 39 and 40 that;

‘And those who, when an oppressive wrong is done them, take revenge. The recompense for an evil is an evil like thereof…

And Allah, Ar-Raheem does not stop there. He continues by recommending to us that which is most beautiful…forgiveness. He says;

‘…but whoever forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is with Allah.’

Subhaanal Laah! Such is the beauty of our deen. And He even says it in another way in ayah 43. He says;

‘And verily, whosoever shows patience and forgives that would truly be from the things recommended by Allah.’

So, when someone hurts you or makes you angry, which one will you choose: revenge or letting go for the sake of Allah hoping that Allah, Al-Afuw, rewards your patience? Definitely, it must be ‘letting go,’ forgiveness. That is in a way telling Allah azza wa jal that He knows best. The moment you want to pay back in your own way, then what you are saying is that; 

‘You can handle the situation better than Allah.’ Nastagfirul Laah!

Our noble Prophet Muhammad suallal Laahu alayhi wa sallam depicts this character of forgiveness countless times in his life. Among the most wonderful of this forgiving attitude of his is when the people of Ta’if manhandled him: yes, they mishandled him in the highest sense of the word until he made a du’a saying;

O Allah, to You do I complain of my weakness, my helplessness, and disregard of people towards me. O Most Merciful of the merciful, You are the Lord of the oppressed, and You are my Lord. To whom do You entrust me? Is it to a stranger who would frown on me? Or is it to an enemy to whom You have given mastery over me?

If You are not angry with me, then I do not care. But Your Protection is the more all-embracing for me. 

I seek refuge in the Light of Your Face whereby all darkness has shone and the affairs of worldly life and the hereafter have been set right, lest You should send down upon me Your Anger or Your Wrath should befall me. Yours Alone is the right to blame until You are Content, and there is neither power nor might except with You.’

From the words of the Messenger of Allah suallal Laahu alayhi wa sallam, you can just tell how very bad the people of Ta’if treated him. The Prophet suallal Laahu alayhi wa sallam said, 

There, I lifted my head and behold! A cloud was casting its shade on me. I looked and behold! In it was Jibril. He called me saying, ‘Allah has heard your people’s words to you and the answer they gave you. He has sent to you the Angel (in charge) of the Mountains so that you may order him whatever you wish with regard to them.’ The Angel of the Mountains called me, greeted me, and then said, ‘O Muhammad! That (i.e. referring to Jibrils statement). What you want. I will, if you want, cause Al-Akhshabain (two mountains in Makkah) to fall down on them.’” 

Allah azza wa jal had told us that He did not send the Prophet Muhammad suallal Laahu alayhi wa sallam except as a Mercy upon us and the Prophet had proven this. He said;

No. I hope that Allah brings forth from their loins those (children) who will worship Allah Alone and associate nothing with Him.”

Allahumma sualli alayhi wa ‘alaa aalihii wa ashaabihi wa sallim! What would you have done? I would have probably prayed against them even before Allah azza wa jal sent the Angels but the Prophet forgave them and gave them the best of du’a; guidance. And we all know that in the Prophet Muhammad, we have the best of examples to follow.

I was hurt again

So, someone I loved fiisabi lil Laah with all sincerity hurt me badly. It was almost as if I was in some wonder world. I could not believe that a person that I share so much with and adore that much could even if it were for a split of a second do what she did to me. Then I forgave her. And as time went by, I tried to really be sure that I had forgiven her and it helped me instead. And that is what forgiveness does; it heals you. The person who offends you might not need your forgiveness as much as you need to forgive him or her.

To make forgiving others easier for you, you just have to think of a few things. Some of them are;

1.      No one is perfect
2.      You could also wrong someone (we wrong one another all the time)
3.      At every point in time, we all need forgiveness from Allah
4.      Allah promises us His forgiveness upon the graveness of our sins
5.      Why won’t we forgive others then?
6.      Holding onto grudges is of no importance to us
7.      When you let go, then you free your heart

Allah azza wa jal says in a hadith qudsi that;

“O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you”

Al-Tirmidhi

What more do we need to know in order to forgive others immediately they offend us no matter how grave the offense is to us? And we must know with certainty that there could be times that we would also require others to forgive us as stated above because we are not angels: we are not sinless. 

A habit worth learning

I have also realized that most at times, when someone offends another, he or she is unable to tell it to the face of the person how offended he or she is. He or she would rather keep it to him or herself and bury the pain secretly without the other knowing. Sometimes, the person will be complaining behind the person’s back without letting the one who offended him or her know what his or her feelings are. It is even worse when the person behaves all normal with the one who has offended him or her whiles still harbouring the hurt and annoyance in his or her heart.

When someone offends you, the best thing to do is to let the person know that what he or she did or said has offended you. Let it out and then let it go. If the person apologizes or not, at least what is important is that you have made him or her aware and that will help both of you. And you must also note that it isn’t everyone who easily accepts his or her wrong towards another so you must be able to bear with him or her if he or she is trying to behave as if all is well. It may also be that you might have misunderstood situations so you will be offered an explanation. Likewise, you should be grateful to those people around you who will rather tell you how offended they are by you in the face instead of talking about it behind you.
You must learn to forgive even when the person who has offended you does not ask you for forgiveness; just let go for the sake of Allah and hope for His reward. Even if the person adds salt to injury; let go! Forgive simply not because he or she deserves it but because that is better in the sight of Allah. And you must learn to ask forgiveness from just about anyone as soon as you realize you have offended him or her. That was the nature of the companions of the Prophet radiyal Laahu anhum. Do not feel too proud.

The Prophet suallal Laahu alayhi wa sallam said: 

“Whoever suffers an injury and forgives (the person responsible), God will raise his status to a higher degree and remove one of his sins”

Al-Tirmidhi

When we are able to cultivate the habit of immediately recognizing our wrongs to others and asking forgiveness and then also forgive others immediately, then indeed we would head along a path to making our relationship as Muslim brothers and sisters much better. And we should know very well what we stand to gain when we better our relationship as brothers and sisters for the sake of Allah.

May Allah azza wa jal bless us with the ability to seek forgiveness from and also forgive one another. May He take out even the minutest of arrogance and egocentrism from our beings. May He make us humble. May He forgive us always the sins that we commit. Aameen. 

As always, I just want to remind you that I love you for the sake of Allah. May Allah be a witness to this love and may He love us even more. Aameen.

Jazaakumul Laahu khair always!
Forgiveness Forever In shaa Allah!
Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatul Laah!
Rubaba Mmahajia Rahma Sabtiu

Tuesday 13 May 2014

FEAR HER TEARS



Bismil Laahir Rahmaanir Raheem

Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatul Laahi wa barkaatuh brothers and sisters. Never get tired of this beautiful greeting for it is some kind of blessing to us as Muslims. And whenever anyone gives you such a greeting, respond with zeal and passion. Alhamdu lil Laah for the ni’amah of Islam. 

Abdullah Ibn 'Umar saw a Yemeni man performing Tawâf (circumambulating the Ka'bah) while carrying his mother on his back. This man said to Abdullah Ibn 'Umar, "I am like a tame camel for her! I have carried her more than she carried me. Do you think I have paid her back, O Ibn 'Umar?" Abdullah Ibn 'Umar replied, "No, not even one contraction!!" 

[Al-Adab al-Mufrad Bukhârî 1/62]

A Distressing Scene

One day, I had witnessed an upsetting scene. An elderly woman had come to a food seller with whom she does business to collect her money. The food seller told her that her daughter had already come for the amount she was supposed to give them that day. I found out that both mother and daughter sell maize to the food seller. The woman told the food seller that she should have given that money to her since her daughter knew that she had some loan she needed to pay. Then she added that her daughter had intentionally come for the money for herself because she knew she needed money badly and she does not want her to have it. Then the woman started complaining vehemently about how her daughter mistreats her.

I was there with my mum who wanted to know whether she was talking about her real daughter and the people around said it was her biological daughter she was talking about. The women around who knew both mother and daughter very well started saying some horrible things. They said that since her daughter even beats her whenever she wanted, then she should not be surprised that her daughter had come ahead of her for the money knowing that she needed it. My mum and I were flabbergasted. I mean we were shocked to the bone.

The woman told the food seller that she had seen her daughter with her when she was coming but she hid somewhere out of fear of the daughter and she only came when her daughter left. Could you believe that? I am telling you truth and nothing else but that. Then the woman started pouring her heart out on how cruel her daughter is to her. She was a calm woman and even when she poured her heart out, she did so gently. I wondered who such a daughter could be. Then the mother had called upon a woman who was passing by to come and hear what her daughter had done again. Do you know what the woman said? She said;

‘I am not interested in getting involved with issues about your daughter who insults, beats and treats you like something.’

And she left. Then my mum became outraged. How unfortunate that a daughter could make such a name for herself in the whole area. Then the mother made a remark that her daughter was going to get married soon and leave that region and she is praying for the time to come soon and that when they are leaving she doesn’t want them to take a bus but rather a flight so that she would leave the region earlier for her to have some peace.
Allah, Al-Khaaliq, tells us;

‘And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and good to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship…’

Surah Luqman, Chapter 31 ayah 14

That was an extremely unfortunate situation. I could not believe that a daughter could be this cruel. Imagine someone who had carried her for months in weakness and hardship as Allah azza wa jal describes it. What kind of heartlessness is this one? And I have seen quite a number of situations where people do not care a hoot about their mothers. They speak to them harshly, they disrespect them, they watch their mothers live in hardship whiles they live luxurious lives, etc. And the most unfortunate thing is when you find out that these people are Muslims. You ask yourself; ‘Where is the tarbiyyah?’ 

Look at how helpless babies are until they become adults and it is mothers who bear the burden of this helplessness. If they don’t feed, bath and cloth you, you will be as you are; totally helpless. Imagine the screams of babies; sometimes so piercing and mothers have to bear all that and they do so in joy. Imagine the pain of child birth! It is so serious that Allah azza wa jal even rewards her as a martyr provided she does not make it alive.

A man came to the Prophet and said: O Messenger of Allah! Who from amongst mankind warrants the best companionship from me? He replied: "Your mother." The man asked: Then who? So he replied: "Your mother." The man then asked: Then who? So the Prophet replied again: "Your mother." The man then asked: Then who? So he replied: "Then your father." 

(Sahih Bukhair and Muslim)

If a mother is given such a status in Islam, how then are some people extremely wicked to their mothers? You don’t even have to treat someone else’s mother like that how much more yours? Now, that is not the worse story ever. 

The Most Despicable of All

A woman was afflicted with a disease that lead to the removal of a certain part of her body. As she struggled in her ill health, her daughter made her the object of her wickedness. This daughter will not speak to her mum. Even when her mother needed something, she did not care and the mother even feared asking her for anything. Everyday this woman cried in pain not for her illness alone but for how her daughter mistreated her. She could not believe that someone she had made so much sacrifices for would be that wicked to her. If the mother needed anything and there was no one around and it was just her daughter, then she had to wait no matter how long for another person to come before she could be helped. Their rooms were close to each other and the woman in her distress will sometimes come to lie in the corridor just to have some fresh air. When her daughter comes to see her close to her door and in the corridor, she would frown and pretend to be smelling something bad. She would enter her room and then come out with a spray to spray the whole place including where her mum lay. This will put her mum to tears and she will go back to her room. 

Now, if you are thinking that I am making this up, then I’m sorry. This is a true story of which I was an eye witness. Her mum will complain to me most of the time about her daughter’s actions and the fact that she sprays the environment that she is in (and I did see that once). I was almost dying with this woman. But in all that the one I pitied was her daughter. Knowing how bad she behaved even as a Muslim and then adding wickedness to her mum to the whole equation; I could not come to terms with what she was trying to prove to Allah, the Severe in Punishment.

The story continued to be so until the woman left this Dunya where her daughter was able to subject her heart to an everyday misery to a place where her daughter could dare not go to mistreat her. May Allah azza wa jal continue to shower His abundant Rahma on her soul and on all of those who have gone ahead. Aameen.

After her mother’s death, I had wondered about this lady. Was she now happy that her burden was now no more? She had been so ashamed of her mum that she never let any of her friends know that was her mum even when she had not gotten ill. And when she got ill and got a bit deformed, it became worse. Well, I could not really read her emotions and every one knew that any show of sadness from her was pure pretense. 

Funny enough, a few months after her mum’s death, she started experiencing some constant pain and she went to the hospital. The doctor told her that she was contracting a kind of disease. Do you know what that disease was? Interesting how the world is. It was the same disease that her mum had suffered from until death. Then she began to feel uneasy. She was thinking that it was probably due to her wickedness towards her mum that she was also contracting that disease. 

Upon some investigations, it was found out that she had gotten into a relationship with the husband of a woman who had treated her so kindly. The woman’s husband began to mistreat his wife because of her and then he drove her out one day with her new born baby after she found out about their affair. Then this woman in her pain had cursed her and her family because they defended her; her mum being one of her key defense. So it was said that the disease will be killing them one after the other. But alhamdu lil Laah! Upon another test, the doctor found out that she was free of the disease.

Allah, Al-Quddus, tells us that;

‘And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say; ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.’

Surah Al-Isra’, the Journey by Night, Chapter 17 ayah 23-24

How could anyone ever treat another human being in this way? And it is not just another human being but the one in whom she came from? The one who carries the womb that had kept her safe for months. Subhaanal Laah! Subhaanal Laah! I cannot even express my thoughts clearly. I cannot believe that a human could be that heartless. A mother? Subhaanal Laah! Even when our parents invite us to that which takes one out of the fold of Islam, Allah azza wa jal tells us to still be gentle with them. He says;

‘But if they strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly…’

Surah Luqman, Chapter 31 ayah 15

Now, joining others in worship is something that is most hateful to Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aalaa yet even when our parents call us to such an unfortunate thing, Allah says that we should disobey them in that but…but we should deal with them kindly. The daughter of Abu Bakr, Asmaa bint Abu Bakr, radiyal Laahu anhum narrated that;

During the treaty of Hudaibiyah, her mother, who was then pagan, came to see her from Makkah. Asmaa informed the Messenger of Allah of her arrival and also that she needed help. He said: Be good to your mother

Bukhari and Muslim

How much more those who call us to Him? How could we be cruel to them knowing very well that we would become mothers and fathers like them one day by Allah’s will? And disobedience of one’s parents is considered a major sin in Islam as Abdullah ibn Amr relates from the Messenger of Allah suallal Laahu alayhi wa sallam that;

The major sins are to believe that Allah has partners, to disobey one's parents, to commit murder, and to bear false witness.

Bukhari and Muslim

So, I keep thinking about this lady and anyone in her situation and my thoughts just keep running wild. Even if they suddenly realized their folly and unfortunate behavior, who were they going to seek forgiveness from? Where would their mothers be for them to ask their forgiveness? Could they just ask Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aalaa for forgiveness and hope that their mothers will forgive them because of that? Subhaanal Laah! 

There are millions of people who wish their mothers were alive for them to shower upon them an abundant love and just look at how some others who are privileged to have their mothers alive do to them? Heartlessness in the highest level!

We must all take caution

A mother is an indispensable person that Allah azza wa jal blesses us with. We should serve them as much as we can. We should never speak back to them harshly. Even when we disagree with them, we should do so with humility and diligence. When they even mistreat us, we should not mistreat them in return because we could never pay them back for the good they did for us even whilst we lay in their bellies and the pain of bringing us out of their bellies. At every point in time, we should simply make up our minds that we are going to serve our mothers no matter what. That is not to also say that we should help them when they are oppressing and behaving wickedly with others. In such a case, we should advise them in the best of manners and still treat them gently and kindly with love and care.

The next time you feel like shouting at your mum or doing something that will hurt her, think about your status before Allah azza wa jal as you do that and simply stop. Our mothers are more than worthy of our every attention and love; they gave it to us and they still give that to us in abundance remember.

May Allah, Al-Wadud, fill our hearts with the love of our mothers and fathers and make us obedient and merciful children to them. May Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aalaa have abundant mercy upon those of them who have gone ahead of us. Aameen. Remember that I love you fiisabi lil Laah and I will always do. May Allah, Al-Shaheed, be a witness to this love. Aameen.

Jazaakumul Laahu khair always!
Love for the mother always in shaa Allah!
Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatul Laah!
Rubaba Mmahajia Rahma Sabtiu