Bismil Laahir Rahmaanir
Raheem!
“Whoever does not show mercy will not
be shown mercy.”
Sahih Bukhari
Assalaamu
alaykum wa rahmatul Laahi wa barkaatuh brothers and sisters in Islam. Alhamdu
lil Laah always for the blessing of Islam. May Allah azza wa jal keep us on
this path until our ends. Aameen.
Today,
I’m trying to write an article that I am not sure how to begin and end. What I
know however is that there is this little something that is nudging my fingers
to be written; and of course, it is lying quietly in my heart.
Recent times
Quite
recently, I have seen on too many occasions brothers and sisters having one
issue or the other with each other or among one another. Then they let these
petty disagreements or misunderstandings get at them to the extent that they go
off the bar. I guess you know what I mean by that. Their level of hurt and
anger get so serious that sometimes, the bad words just pop out of their
writings like that. Funny enough, I have always seen that mostly, the issues
are such that they could be easily swept into the gutter. Unfortunately
however, brothers and sisters hold unto them.
It
is indeed not out of place for us to get hurt because of the actions of others
and to get angry at them; it is only natural with us as humans. We have hearts
and Allah, Al-Khaaliq, made our hearts sensitive to the actions of others.
When I thought no one could really
hurt me
Well,
I used to live in the delusion that perhaps no one can really get me angry by
hurting me. Don’t laugh; it was childishness. We are created so differently.
Some of us have very bad temper, others are mild tempered and others are almost
temperless. Don’t mind the words, ok. It helps me convey my message better.
There are those people who will get angry at the least problem. It is almost a
wonder to me sometimes. Even when you are trying to share some humour with that
person, he or she suddenly takes it personal and goes off. It is really
difficult dealing with such people for sure.
There
are others who are just moderate. The things that are expected to get a person
angry will make them angry and the things that are not expected to make a
person angry will not make them angry. They are the middle line people. There
are those others who are almost always never offended with just about anything.
They will not get angry no matter how hard you even try to let them. Well, have
you met anybody like that before?
In
my teens, I thought I was almost getting to the third category. That is not to
say that I never got angry but I didn’t see why I should get angry just like
that. I remember that when I was in the Senior High School, some of my teachers
will ask why I liked smiling and never frown…they wanted to know the secret!
Interesting huh! And I didn’t even realize it. I guess I was simply accepting
life as it comes.
Got hurt like never thought before
So,
I’d keep talking about how much this person had hurt me by misunderstanding
almost everything that I did. She always read meanings into almost everything I
did whilst I was innocently simply being my natural self. But I had actually
thought I had forgiven her. Yet I kept talking about it thinking that I was
probably just telling the story. One day, a friend of mine made a comment
saying;
‘I can just tell that she really hurt
you with the way she behaved towards you because of the way you talk about
this.’
And
she told the truth. She knew that I will naturally not be bothered much by
something like that so she could tell the level of hurt in me. Then I realized
that perhaps I had not really forgiven this lady so I decided to do so. Alhamdu
lil Laah, that decision to truly forgive was to my own advantage because it
gave me such peace of mind and heart. Alhamdu lil Laah. Allah, Al-Gafuur, tells
us about the better and lasting enjoyment of the Hereafter of some categories
of people in Surah Ash-Shura, the
Consultation, Chapter 42 and in ayah 37,
He says;
‘And those who avoid the greater sins,
and illegal sexual intercourse, and WHEN THEY ARE ANGRY, THEY FORGIVE.’
Subhaanal
Laah! This is enough to let every Muslim simply and immediately forgive any
wrong done him or her. But it is not that easy and Allah, Ar-Rahmaan, Al-Adl,
the Merciful and the Just as He is does not hold us against our desire to
revenge the evil done us as He says in the same Surah ayah 39 and 40 that;
‘And those who, when an oppressive
wrong is done them, take revenge. The recompense for an evil is an evil like
thereof…
And
Allah, Ar-Raheem does not stop there. He continues by recommending to us that
which is most beautiful…forgiveness. He says;
‘…but whoever forgives and makes
reconciliation, his reward is with Allah.’
Subhaanal
Laah! Such is the beauty of our deen. And He even says it in another way in
ayah 43. He says;
‘And verily, whosoever shows patience
and forgives that would truly be from the things recommended by Allah.’
So,
when someone hurts you or makes you angry, which one will you choose: revenge
or letting go for the sake of Allah hoping that Allah, Al-Afuw, rewards your
patience? Definitely, it must be ‘letting go,’ forgiveness. That is in a way
telling Allah azza wa jal that He knows best. The moment you want to pay back
in your own way, then what you are saying is that;
‘You can handle the situation better
than Allah.’ Nastagfirul Laah!
Our
noble Prophet Muhammad suallal Laahu alayhi wa sallam depicts this character of
forgiveness countless times in his life. Among the most wonderful of this
forgiving attitude of his is when the people of Ta’if manhandled him: yes, they
mishandled him in the highest sense of the word until he made a du’a saying;
‘O Allah, to You do I complain of my weakness, my helplessness, and
disregard of people towards me. O Most Merciful of the merciful, You are the
Lord of the oppressed, and You are my Lord. To whom do You entrust me? Is it to
a stranger who would frown on me? Or is it to an enemy to whom You have given
mastery over me?
If You are
not angry with me, then I do not care. But Your Protection is the more
all-embracing for me.
I seek
refuge in the Light of Your Face whereby all darkness has shone and the affairs
of worldly life and the hereafter have been set right, lest You should send
down upon me Your Anger or Your Wrath should befall me. Yours Alone is the
right to blame until You are Content, and there is neither power nor might
except with You.’
From
the words of the Messenger of Allah suallal Laahu alayhi wa sallam, you can
just tell how very bad the people of Ta’if treated him. The Prophet suallal
Laahu alayhi wa sallam said,
“There, I lifted my head and behold! A cloud was casting its shade on me.
I looked and behold! In it was Jibril. He called me saying, ‘Allah has heard your people’s words to you and
the answer they gave you. He has sent to you the Angel (in charge) of the
Mountains so that you may order him whatever you wish with regard to them.’ The
Angel of the Mountains called me, greeted me, and then said, ‘O Muhammad! That
(i.e. referring to Jibril’s statement). What you want.
I will, if you want, cause Al-Akhshabain (two mountains in Makkah) to fall down
on them.’”
Allah
azza wa jal had told us that He did not send the Prophet Muhammad suallal Laahu
alayhi wa sallam except as a Mercy upon us and the Prophet had proven this. He
said;
“No. I hope that Allah brings forth from their loins those (children)
who will worship Allah Alone and associate nothing with Him.”
Allahumma
sualli alayhi wa ‘alaa aalihii wa ashaabihi wa sallim! What would you have
done? I would have probably prayed against them even before Allah azza wa jal
sent the Angels but the Prophet forgave them and gave them the best of du’a;
guidance. And we all know that in the Prophet Muhammad, we have the best of
examples to follow.
I was hurt again
So,
someone I loved fiisabi lil Laah with all sincerity hurt me badly. It was
almost as if I was in some wonder world. I could not believe that a person that
I share so much with and adore that much could even if it were for a split of a
second do what she did to me. Then I forgave her. And as time went by, I tried
to really be sure that I had forgiven her and it helped me instead. And that is
what forgiveness does; it heals you. The person who offends you might not need
your forgiveness as much as you need to forgive him or her.
To
make forgiving others easier for you, you just have to think of a few things.
Some of them are;
1.
No one is perfect
2.
You could also
wrong someone (we wrong one another all the time)
3.
At every point in
time, we all need forgiveness from Allah
4.
Allah promises us
His forgiveness upon the graveness of our sins
5.
Why won’t we
forgive others then?
6.
Holding onto grudges
is of no importance to us
7.
When you let go,
then you free your heart
Allah
azza wa jal says in a hadith qudsi that;
“O son of Adam, were your sins to
reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would
forgive you”
Al-Tirmidhi
What more do we need to
know in order to forgive others immediately they offend us no matter how grave
the offense is to us? And we must know with certainty that there could be times
that we would also require others to forgive us as stated above because we are
not angels: we are not sinless.
A habit worth learning
I
have also realized that most at times, when someone offends another, he or she
is unable to tell it to the face of the person how offended he or she is. He or
she would rather keep it to him or herself and bury the pain secretly without
the other knowing. Sometimes, the person will be complaining behind the person’s
back without letting the one who offended him or her know what his or her
feelings are. It is even worse when the person behaves all normal with the one
who has offended him or her whiles still harbouring the hurt and annoyance in
his or her heart.
When
someone offends you, the best thing to do is to let the person know that what
he or she did or said has offended you. Let it out and then let it go. If the
person apologizes or not, at least what is important is that you have made him
or her aware and that will help both of you. And you must also note that it isn’t
everyone who easily accepts his or her wrong towards another so you must be
able to bear with him or her if he or she is trying to behave as if all is
well. It may also be that you might have misunderstood situations so you will
be offered an explanation. Likewise, you should be grateful to those people
around you who will rather tell you how offended they are by you in the face
instead of talking about it behind you.
You
must learn to forgive even when the person who has offended you does not ask
you for forgiveness; just let go for the sake of Allah and hope for His reward.
Even if the person adds salt to injury; let go! Forgive simply not because he
or she deserves it but because that is better in the sight of Allah. And you
must learn to ask forgiveness from just about anyone as soon as you realize you
have offended him or her. That was the nature of the companions of the Prophet
radiyal Laahu anhum. Do not feel too proud.
The
Prophet suallal Laahu alayhi wa sallam said:
“Whoever suffers an injury and
forgives (the person responsible), God will raise his status to a higher degree
and remove one of his sins”
Al-Tirmidhi
When
we are able to cultivate the habit of immediately recognizing our wrongs to
others and asking forgiveness and then also forgive others immediately, then
indeed we would head along a path to making our relationship as Muslim brothers
and sisters much better. And we should know very well what we stand to gain
when we better our relationship as brothers and sisters for the sake of Allah.
May
Allah azza wa jal bless us with the ability to seek forgiveness from and also
forgive one another. May He take out even the minutest of arrogance and egocentrism
from our beings. May He make us humble. May He forgive us always the sins that
we commit. Aameen.
As
always, I just want to remind you that I love you for the sake of Allah. May
Allah be a witness to this love and may He love us even more. Aameen.
Jazaakumul Laahu khair always!
Forgiveness Forever In shaa Allah!
Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatul Laah!
Rubaba Mmahajia Rahma Sabtiu
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