FEAR HER TEARS

Bismil Laahir Rahmaanir Raheem

Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatul Laahi wa barkaatuh brothers and sisters. Never get tired of this beautiful greeting for it is some kind of blessing to us as Muslims. And whenever anyone gives you such a greeting, respond with zeal and passion. Alhamdu lil Laah for the ni’amah of Islam. 

Abdullah Ibn 'Umar saw a Yemeni man performing Tawâf (circumambulating the Ka'bah) while carrying his mother on his back. This man said to Abdullah Ibn 'Umar, "I am like a tame camel for her! I have carried her more than she carried me. Do you think I have paid her back, O Ibn 'Umar?" Abdullah Ibn 'Umar replied, "No, not even one contraction!!" 

[Al-Adab al-Mufrad Bukhârî 1/62]

A Distressing Scene

One day, I had witnessed an upsetting scene. An elderly woman had come to a food seller with whom she does business to collect her money. The food seller told her that her daughter had already come for the amount she was supposed to give them that day. I found out that both mother and daughter sell maize to the food seller. The woman told the food seller that she should have given that money to her since her daughter knew that she had some loan she needed to pay. Then she added that her daughter had intentionally come for the money for herself because she knew she needed money badly and she does not want her to have it. Then the woman started complaining vehemently about how her daughter mistreats her.

I was there with my mum who wanted to know whether she was talking about her real daughter and the people around said it was her biological daughter she was talking about. The women around who knew both mother and daughter very well started saying some horrible things. They said that since her daughter even beats her whenever she wanted, then she should not be surprised that her daughter had come ahead of her for the money knowing that she needed it. My mum and I were flabbergasted. I mean we were shocked to the bone.

The woman told the food seller that she had seen her daughter with her when she was coming but she hid somewhere out of fear of the daughter and she only came when her daughter left. Could you believe that? I am telling you truth and nothing else but that. Then the woman started pouring her heart out on how cruel her daughter is to her. She was a calm woman and even when she poured her heart out, she did so gently. I wondered who such a daughter could be. Then the mother had called upon a woman who was passing by to come and hear what her daughter had done again. Do you know what the woman said? She said;

‘I am not interested in getting involved with issues about your daughter who insults, beats and treats you like something.’

And she left. Then my mum became outraged. How unfortunate that a daughter could make such a name for herself in the whole area. Then the mother made a remark that her daughter was going to get married soon and leave that region and she is praying for the time to come soon and that when they are leaving she doesn’t want them to take a bus but rather a flight so that she would leave the region earlier for her to have some peace.

Allah, Al-Khaaliq, tells us;

‘And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and good to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship…’

Surah Luqman, Chapter 31 ayah 14

That was an extremely unfortunate situation. I could not believe that a daughter could be this cruel. Imagine someone who had carried her for months in weakness and hardship as Allah azza wa jal describes it. What kind of heartlessness is this one? And I have seen quite a number of situations where people do not care a hoot about their mothers. They speak to them harshly, they disrespect them, they watch their mothers live in hardship whiles they live luxurious lives, etc. And the most unfortunate thing is when you find out that these people are Muslims. You ask yourself; ‘Where is the tarbiyyah?’ 

Look at how helpless babies are until they become adults and it is mothers who bear the burden of this helplessness. If they don’t feed, bath and cloth you, you will be as you are; totally helpless. Imagine the screams of babies; sometimes so piercing and mothers have to bear all that and they do so in joy. Imagine the pain of child birth! It is so serious that Allah azza wa jal even rewards her as a martyr provided she does not make it alive.

A man came to the Prophet and said: O Messenger of Allah! Who from amongst mankind warrants the best companionship from me? He replied: "Your mother." The man asked: Then who? So he replied: "Your mother." The man then asked: Then who? So the Prophet replied again: "Your mother." The man then asked: Then who? So he replied: "Then your father." 

(Sahih Bukhair and Muslim)

If a mother is given such a status in Islam, how then are some people extremely wicked to their mothers? You don’t even have to treat someone else’s mother like that how much more yours? Now, that is not the worse story ever. 

The Most Despicable of All

A woman was afflicted with a disease that lead to the removal of a certain part of her body. As she struggled in her ill health, her daughter made her the object of her wickedness. This daughter will not speak to her mum. Even when her mother needed something, she did not care and the mother even feared asking her for anything. Everyday this woman cried in pain not for her illness alone but for how her daughter mistreated her. She could not believe that someone she had made so much sacrifices for would be that wicked to her. If the mother needed anything and there was no one around and it was just her daughter, then she had to wait no matter how long for another person to come before she could be helped. Their rooms were close to each other and the woman in her distress will sometimes come to lie in the corridor just to have some fresh air. When her daughter comes to see her close to her door and in the corridor, she would frown and pretend to be smelling something bad. She would enter her room and then come out with a spray to spray the whole place including where her mum lay. This will put her mum to tears and she will go back to her room. 

Now, if you are thinking that I am making this up, then I’m sorry. This is a true story of which I was an eye witness. Her mum will complain to me most of the time about her daughter’s actions and the fact that she sprays the environment that she is in (and I did see that once). I was almost dying with this woman. But in all that the one I pitied was her daughter. Knowing how bad she behaved even as a Muslim and then adding wickedness to her mum to the whole equation; I could not come to terms with what she was trying to prove to Allah, the Severe in Punishment.

The story continued to be so until the woman left this Dunya where her daughter was able to subject her heart to an everyday misery to a place where her daughter could dare not go to mistreat her. May Allah azza wa jal continue to shower His abundant Rahma on her soul and on all of those who have gone ahead. Aameen.

After her mother’s death, I had wondered about this lady. Was she now happy that her burden was now no more? She had been so ashamed of her mum that she never let any of her friends know that was her mum even when she had not gotten ill. And when she got ill and got a bit deformed, it became worse. Well, I could not really read her emotions and every one knew that any show of sadness from her was pure pretense. 

Funny enough, a few months after her mum’s death, she started experiencing some constant pain and she went to the hospital. The doctor told her that she was contracting a kind of disease. Do you know what that disease was? Interesting how the world is. It was the same disease that her mum had suffered from until death. Then she began to feel uneasy. She was thinking that it was probably due to her wickedness towards her mum that she was also contracting that disease. 

Upon some investigations, it was found out that she had gotten into a relationship with the husband of a woman who had treated her so kindly. The woman’s husband began to mistreat his wife because of her and then he drove her out one day with her new born baby after she found out about their affair. Then this woman in her pain had cursed her and her family because they defended her; her mum being one of her key defense. So it was said that the disease will be killing them one after the other. But alhamdu lil Laah! Upon another test, the doctor found out that she was free of the disease.

Allah, Al-Quddus, tells us that;

‘And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say; ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.’

Surah Al-Isra’, the Journey by Night, Chapter 17 ayah 23-24

How could anyone ever treat another human being in this way? And it is not just another human being but the one in whom she came from? The one who carries the womb that had kept her safe for months. Subhaanal Laah! Subhaanal Laah! I cannot even express my thoughts clearly. I cannot believe that a human could be that heartless. A mother? Subhaanal Laah! Even when our parents invite us to that which takes one out of the fold of Islam, Allah azza wa jal tells us to still be gentle with them. He says;

‘But if they strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly…’

Surah Luqman, Chapter 31 ayah 15

Now, joining others in worship is something that is most hateful to Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aalaa yet even when our parents call us to such an unfortunate thing, Allah says that we should disobey them in that but…but we should deal with them kindly. The daughter of Abu Bakr, Asmaa bint Abu Bakr, radiyal Laahu anhum narrated that;

During the treaty of Hudaibiyah, her mother, who was then pagan, came to see her from Makkah. Asmaa informed the Messenger of Allah of her arrival and also that she needed help. He said: Be good to your mother

Bukhari and Muslim

How much more those who call us to Him? How could we be cruel to them knowing very well that we would become mothers and fathers like them one day by Allah’s will? And disobedience of one’s parents is considered a major sin in Islam as Abdullah ibn Amr relates from the Messenger of Allah suallal Laahu alayhi wa sallam that;

The major sins are to believe that Allah has partners, to disobey one's parents, to commit murder, and to bear false witness.

Bukhari and Muslim

So, I keep thinking about this lady and anyone in her situation and my thoughts just keep running wild. Even if they suddenly realized their folly and unfortunate behavior, who were they going to seek forgiveness from? Where would their mothers be for them to ask their forgiveness? Could they just ask Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aalaa for forgiveness and hope that their mothers will forgive them because of that? Subhaanal Laah! 

There are millions of people who wish their mothers were alive for them to shower upon them an abundant love and just look at how some others who are privileged to have their mothers alive do to them? Heartlessness in the highest level!

We must all take caution

A mother is an indispensable person that Allah azza wa jal blesses us with. We should serve them as much as we can. We should never speak back to them harshly. Even when we disagree with them, we should do so with humility and diligence. When they even mistreat us, we should not mistreat them in return because we could never pay them back for the good they did for us even whilst we lay in their bellies and the pain of bringing us out of their bellies. At every point in time, we should simply make up our minds that we are going to serve our mothers no matter what. That is not to also say that we should help them when they are oppressing and behaving wickedly with others. In such a case, we should advise them in the best of manners and still treat them gently and kindly with love and care.

The next time you feel like shouting at your mum or doing something that will hurt her, think about your status before Allah azza wa jal as you do that and simply stop. Our mothers are more than worthy of our every attention and love; they gave it to us and they still give that to us in abundance remember.

May Allah, Al-Wadud, fill our hearts with the love of our mothers and fathers and make us obedient and merciful children to them. May Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aalaa have abundant mercy upon those of them who have gone ahead of us. Aameen. Remember that I love you fiisabi lil Laah and I will always do. May Allah, Al-Shaheed, be a witness to this love. Aameen.

Jazaakumul Laahu khair always!

Love for the mother always in shaa Allah!

Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatul Laah!

Rubaba Mmahajia Rahma Sabtiu

www.mmahajia.blogspot.com