Once the Prophet sat down with ‘A’ishah −may Allah be pleased with her− who began to relate to him women’s talk, as the Prophet attentively listened to her. She was speaking at length and in detail, and despite the Prophet’s busy life, he kept listening to her with keen interest and commenting where needed, until ‘A’ishah −may Allah be pleased with her− finally finished.
So what was the story that ‘A’ishah was relating to him?
She was relating a story about a gathering of eleven women in the pre-Islamic days of ignorance who promised not to hide with regards to their husbands. They began to mention everything about their husbands without concealing anything. So what did they say?
The first woman said:
“My husband is like the meat of a useless camel on top of a mountain. It is neither easy to reach to the top of the mountain, nor is the meat good that it should be carried down.” She likened her husband to a difficult mountain on top of which there is unpleasant camel meat, such that no one likes to obtain it due to the difficulty in climbing the mountain.The meat is also very unpleasant in that it is not worth tiring oneself to obtain it. Meaning, he has bad manners and is arrogant, even though he has nothing to be proud of, since he is stingy and poor.
The second woman said:
“I would not describe my husband for fear of leaving him,and if I begin to describe his faults I would be relating terrible things.” Meaning, her husband had many faults and she feared that if she were to describe his faults and the news of it reached him, he would divorce her. She was stuck with him due to her children.
The third woman said:
“My husband is a tall man. If I describe him (and he hears of that) he will divorce me, and if I keep quiet, he will leave me hanging.” Meaning, her husband was tall, ugly and very ill-mannered. He never overlooked her faults and was like the edge of a sword hanging over her. She lived under the constant threat of divorce. Her words to him were unbearable, and whenever she complained he would divorce her. He would not treat her as a husbandshould treat his wife. Hence, she was left hanging, neither married, nor divorced.
The fourth woman said:
“My husband is a moderate person like the night of Tihamah which is neither hot nor cold. I am neither afraid of him, nor am I discontented with him.” It is known that the night of Tihamah is neither windy nor dusty, which the inhabitants find quite pleasant. She described her husband as being nice to her and having moderate manners– a man who never hurt her.
The fifth woman said:
“My husband, when entering (the house) is a leopard, and when going out, is a lion. He does not ask about whatever is in the house” Meaning, when he enters the house he behaves like a leopard. The leopard is considered to be generous and active. When he leaves the house and mixed with the people he behaves likea lion due to his bravery. He was also very tolerant, such that he did not ask detailed questions about what his wife took or spent.
The sixth woman said:
“When my husband eats, he eats too much, and if he drinks he leaves nothing, and if he sleeps he wraps himself up and does not stretch his hands here and there in concern for my sorrow.” Meaning, her husband ate so much that he did not leave anything for his family. He likewise drank too much to leave anything for anyone. When he slept, he wrapped himself up in a blanket leaving none of it for his wife. When she felt sad, he never cared to bring his hand closer to her and be kind to her to find out the reason for her sorrow.
The seventh woman said:
“My husband is a wrong-doer and imprudent and foolish. All defects are present in him. If you speak to him, he may insult you. If you joke with him, he may injure your head or body or both.”
The eighth woman said:
“My husband is like a rabbit to touch (i.e. very soft). He smells like a Zarnab (a kind of good smelling grass). I overpower him, whilst he overpowers the people. (i.e. he was very easy going with her and gave in to her demands, yet, was a hero and therefore overpowered others. He had a strong personality).”
The ninth woman said:
“My husband is a tall generous man wearing a long strap for carrying his sword (i.e. his house is large and always open to his guests). His ashes are abundant (i.e. he is always lighting fires to cook for his guests). His house is near his meeting place (i.e. the place where he meets his friends is near his house out of his concern for his family). He never eats to his fill in a gathering (i.e. he does not eat much when serving the guests). He does not sleep during the night of fear (i.e. if there is danger at night from an enemy, etc, he remains awake to guard and watch).”
The tenth woman said:
“My husband is Malik, and what is Malik? Malik is greater than whatever I say about him. Most of his camels are kept at home and only a few are taken to the pastures. When the camels hear the sound of the lute they realise they are going to perish.” Meaning, her husband’s name was Malik, and no matter how beautifully she described him, she would not be able to do him justice. His camels were always kept near him and they were hardly taken to pasture so that they were always ready for milking and slaughtering for guests. When the camels heard thesound of the lute, they realised that they were to be slaughtered for the guests.
The eleventh woman said:
“My husband is Abu Zar’, and what can I say about Abu Zar’? He has given me many ornaments and my ears are heavily loaded with them and my arms have become fat. And he has pleased me, and I have become so happy that I feel proud of myself. He found me with my family who were mere owners of sheep and living in poverty, and brought me to a respected family, having horses and camels, threshing and purifying grain. Whatever I say,he does not rebuke or insult me. When I sleep, I sleep till late in the morning, and when I drink water (or milk), I drink my fill.
The mother of Abu Zar’ and what may one say in praise of the mother of Abu Zar’? Her saddle bags were always full of provision and her house was spacious. As for the son of Abu Zar’, what may one say of the son of Abu Zar’? His bed is as narrow as an unsheathed sword and a small portion of baby goat meat satisfies his hunger.As for the daughter of Abu Zar’, she is obedient to her father and to her mother. She has a fat well-built body and that arouses the jealousy of her co-wife. As for the slave-girl of Abu Zar’, what may one say of the slave-girl of Abu Zar’? She does not uncover our secrets but keeps them, and does not waste our provisions and does not leave the rubbish scattered everywhere in our house.”
She then said, “One day it so happened that Abu Zar’ went out at the time when the animals were being milked, and he saw a woman who had two sons like two leopards playing with her breasts. Upon seeing her, he divorced me and married her. Thereafter I married a noble man who used to ride a fast and tireless horse and keep a spear in his hand. He gave me many things, and also a pair of every kind of livestock and said, ‘Eat (ofthis), O Umm Zar’, and give provision to your relatives.’” She then said, while describing her love for her first husband, “Yet, all those things which my second husband gave me could not fill the smallest utensil of Abu Zar’s.”
This was the end of the long story about the eleven women. We can deduce from this just how long the Prophet spent listening to the story from his beloved wife and life-companion, the mother of the believers, ‘A’ishah – may Allah have mercy on her. The Prophet was listening attentively, while responding positively and showing his interest and enjoyment as ‘A’ishah spoke. He did not exhibit signs of boredom, despite being tiredand busy.
When ‘A’ishah −may Allah be pleased with her− finished her story, in order to show that he had understood the story, and that he was listening to her and not lost in another world as she was relating it, he said to her in response, “I am to you like Abu Zar’ is to Umm Zar’.’’
SOURCE: Enjoy Your Life (A book by Dr Al-'Arifi)
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